How many times have you dealt with the situation where the decision you have to make is overcomplicated by your own thoughts? It happens a lot, especially when you are not sure where you want to go. Even if you feel ready to act on your decision, the doubt kicks in. That is where it escalates into more complex problems. When in all actuallity, these problems do not exist and are only in your head, it can feel as if they are real. The process to overcome this problem of creating problems is not easy, but really possible.
How doubt, fear and indecisiviness work
These three are very interconnected and never work without each other. The simple formula works as you expect:
At first you have an act of will to make, and choose what you want to have or do – a goal for your next step. When the time comes to act, it is very important to act as fast as possible, because based on the last experiences in you life, you will start having doubts. The longer you wait, the higher the doubt meter fills, and then you start noticing fear and anxiety rise. With these two, indecisiveness come and then it is easy to get consumed by all of it so you might even forget that they do not exist at all.
You just have to make a move as fast as possible when you have an idea of your goal. Planning for too long just makes more and more excuses on why not to do something in the first place. Especially if the goal you want is very hard, and your brain does not want to feel that kind of pressure, so it searches for excuses to evade the situation.
Do not talk about your goals beforehand
It is a common problem with people that they have goals and dreams in their mind, but they talk too much about them before even doing anything. Boasting about your desires and goals makes your brain register small dopamine levels as if you have already reached these goals and you feel less to having them done for real.
Do not be afraid to keep a secret, because it is all you have got. All the secrets in the world are the reason why we progress really. If you knew what everyone wants, there would be no playful salesmanship. No real exchange between two individuals or companies. Secrecy is important for the art of a good deal, making a project successful, to keep the vision intact.
When you tell somebody about your dream, you involve another person into it. Now you have secondary opinion, or awareness that intercepts your dream. As long as you keep the authenticity and secrecy about it, you have the upper hand in the situation. Now, when you tell someone about the goal, do not be surprised to have them ask you about it every time you meet. That is because you give the information away and they will want to use it to small talk. That means, that every time you have no progress with your goal, you will get reminded of that all the time. This will feed your doubts, fears and indecisiveness even more.
Psychology and the inside work
To deal with the doubt, fear and indecisiveness takes much effort and there are no shortcuts. Every bad habit takes 40 days to form and the same amount to destroy. So, for at least fourty days you will have to work with your psychology and observe yourself. Imagination is the key to start this methodology of change.
Imagine that your world and life is a small 200 meter radius circle and anything farther than that is very dark. But to your success there are goals you have and want to achieve – these will be the stars far ahead. You see your goals shine far away, but you cannot see the road ahead. Having this picture, imagine the feeling you would feel to be there.
Every moment you spend in a familiar space, you will go nowhere and will never know what the stars far away feels like. You have to make a move, and you cannot see anything in front of you. Every step you make is full of wonders and unexpected events, and you will want to try and foresee as much as possible. This is a place where people start to speculate and create false problems. Everything you know right now comes from experience. But the past experience might never be the truth for the future events. Because variables change all the time, situations are different every second.
That is why you have to move forward into the darkness, with full faith in your goal. Having the shining star far ahead will be your guidance. Every step you make will bring unexpected walls, traps and delay your goal a little. But that is for your own good, you simply have to choose a different approach, and keep the star shining in front of you. It is not as hard as it sounds, faith is the working factor in everything you do in life. Without it, you would not even go outside the room. Since we have learned how to walk, now we have faith that legs will move automatically when we want to. Life works the same.
A few links to understand the flow:
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Zen is the key to a living life without friction. You can learn to move through problems with ease as long as oyu have faith in the world. The connection between you and others is fruitful. Learning to go with the flow will allow you to let go of the hardships in your consciousness and move more freely.